The Move

I spent my last week in Santa Cruz packing up my beloved room. It was a unique room, in a unique house, a type of house that I probably will not not occupy one quite like it ever again. My room was average sized, but what I loved about it was the shelving. Sounds lame, I know, but on the wall that had the window that faced out to the street, there were two shelf cut outs on either side of the window. A little ledge about a foot wide came out from the window and on each side of it were selves in the shapes of right triangles. I loved them, because I was able to do so many creative things with those shelves, and they made my room look that much more unique. I loved that little room.

On my last day in Santa Cruz I packed a little in the morning. Then I was missing Sebastian so much I had to see him, even though I knew it would make it harder. He came over while Kristen and I were hanging out. Once he got there, we watched a little of the Michael Jackson coverage that was still over-taking all tv channels. Suddenly it just felt right, "Lets go to the brewery and get a pitcher." Perfect way to spend my last day in SC. So we walked, because only a crazy person drives to the brewery. And we're spoiled to live 3 minutes away. SO we went and we got buzzed and we were in complete bliss. I was an emotional wreck. But buzzed bliss nonetheless.

We got home, and I raced around the house, I had to cram a million last minuet things at once because my mom and Greg were on their way over with the moving truck. We were all sorta tipsy, so it was actually a little fun, when we forgot what we were actually doing, packing me up to move 600 miles away.

After all my precious belongings were safely stored away, we all loaded into Kristen's car and went to dinner at the Red Room. Amazing. and of course bittersweet.

I cried uncontrollably saying goodbye to Kris and Sebastian. Sebastian waited outside in the car while Kris and I had our last moments together in the house as roommates. The last four years all flooding back to us, and the walls of 310 Cayuga seemed to melt around us, that home truely became my home. And I started to feel as though I didn't know where my life differentiated from Kristen's life, and her life from our home's life, and we were all mixed and molded together after all these years and experiences. Best years of my life were spent right next to K Kid. How would I be without her? DL, 5101, Cayuga. That was us. We were in it together, from the start, from the day I stepped foot in College Eight, Kris was right there with me from day one, Freshman Orientation. Best side-kick in the world.

Sebastian was waiting there like he said he would. I was afraid of the conversation that was waiting for me in the car. All I could do was cry, and say, "It's gonna be okay. It's good. It's good that I'm doing this." Every word was untruthful. Lying through my teeth. I didn't believe it was okay, and I forgot why I was doing this. He said, "You've shown me what I want in a girl," and the knife twisted deeper. All the lovely things he said to me. Even the most divinely beautiful woman in the whole world could never compare to me-based on the way Sebastian talks to me. The complete dispair I felt in the car that night is something I never expected. He was never expected. But he happened to me, and I feel so lucky.

I drove away from him at midnight, and I didn't even look up as I turned away from his kiss.