A New Chapter

People keep telling me graduating from college is way better than being in college. I'm still waiting for that to happen. It's been a month since I crossed the threshold of binge drinking and late night questionable decisions to more binge drinking and questionable decision-except now it's considered completely unacceptable by society and I'm looked at as a pathetic, unemployed free-loader with no goals. So I'm not too stoked for this life change as of now.

Nonetheless, much has changed in my life. I have moved from my beautiful, cozy, beach side cottage in eccentric Santa Cruz to the chaotic, emotionless, concrete slabs that line the streets of Los Angeles. Why you ask? What kind of person would make such a drastic and ill-planned move from the most eco-friendly corner of the world, to a city that is home to the nations second largest oil refinery, El Segundo (it means "the second" in Spanish. Quaint, right?).

I don't know, there're a lot of reasons I suppose. The one that is the most complicated to explain, or mostly just takes some time, is the one that, to me, makes the most sense. However this reason is one of anticipation...it never actually happened, but I took certain, precautionary measures, if you will to ensure that it didn't. To understand where I'm coming from is to know me a little. When I say I loved college, that's not even the half of it. That's probably the understantment of the year. I adored college. If Neverland was college, I would be considered the biggest nut-job, obsessed person ever-right there with Michael Jackson. And for a while, I really did view college as Neverland. I thought it would never end. I thought there was no way in hell I would ever have to become serious about my life. It just wouldn't happen. You would have to pull be out kicking and screaming. And then June 14th, 2009 came. And I graduated. Most bittersweet experience of my life. But not for why you would think. It was bitter because it meant college was over. The theamed parties, beer chugging, Neighborhood Night Tuesdays and 80's Night at The Blue..Alpha Psi secret events, and Theta Chi's annual Luau. It was goodbye to all those carefree, happy, drunk times. Graduation was sweet because...well...there was a party for me and I got money. And that's it. Only positive thing I've seen from graduating so far.

As I was saying, I was in love with my life while in college. Yet I still knew, if I stayed in Santa Cruz, I could still see all the younger classmen that I was good friends with. I could probably still go to the parties, spend my days realatively as I used to, visit the campus, and enjoy the little town I've grown to love. But as much as I still tried to retain the magic of being in college, it would never be the same. As much as I could try to keep as much in my control the same as it used to, it would never be the same. People would move out of town, friends would drift...I would get older, and soon bored. If I stayed in Santa Cruz, I would become depressed. it would be a constant reminder of what it was, and how it was now different.

The way I see it is like that old saying, "Don't overstay your welcome." To me it sums it up exactly. I wanted to quit while I was still ahead, I wanted to be able to look back on my times there with the best memories of college- not "the best memories from college, and then how crappy it was to look for a job there and get depressed that I was still stuck doing the same thing". So I decided to leave. To Los Angeles, the antithesis of everything I've known In Santa Cruz. And let me tell you, it hasn't been easy. But I know that this is what I needed to do. I needed to pick myself up, cast my net into a new, less familiar ocean, and see what I come up with.

Honestly, I'm scared, and I feel discouraged. Graduating in the middle of a depression is not exactly the way you want to get started on your feet. But I'll plug along, I will not be deterred. In the future I see grad school, maybe more specifically law school. I would love to work in environmental law, or social justice law. I would love to work for an environmental non-profit to start out, and then work my way towards law school. These are just a few ideas for which I hope to turn into goals, which hopefully, with a little hard work, will become my reality.